Writing on Paper vs Writing on a Doc

I have two versions of my story, one on Word in my computer, and another hand written on paper. The one on paper holds all of the "word vom", where I will have all of my non-nonsensical phrases, and inconsistencies, and the Word doc is the more edited and polished version. Due to my mindblanks, I spend a lot of time editing. 

Sometimes I'll get lucky and an idea will progress. If not, I have to sit myself down and just do it. (insert Shia Lebouf meme here) The paper is also handy during the week, when I'm away from my computer, and it suffers a lot of erasing. Sometimes it will even break on me. lol. 

But it's amazing to see the amount of physical pages I've written instead of numbers on a screen. Way more satisfying and amazing to me. All that messes that up is knowing that the paper version holds a lot of mistakes. 

Another Day, and Hydrocephalus Runs Amok

Summer approaches, heat is increasing, and my Hydro seems to be acting up... 
I have 0 to no energy, and am in constant pain, as well as having the mental blanks... This thing doesn't attack lightly. And I still get comments like, "You have to stop being lazy." 

When I was little, I never wanted anyone to go through this, but as I grow older, I kind of wish they did, just so that they could see the issues this causes. Strictly for educational purposes, of course. Does that make me a bad person?