Just All The Things (Rant post)

Summer is killing me... Am I surprised? Nope. Annoyed? Very much so. 

Pain has been my constant companion this summer, and what most people don't understand is that pain drains you. You may not externalize it by crying, but it is written on your face, whether you think it is or not. My tattletale sign is my eyes, because I can feel the pained look in them. And can't really hide it. Darn it. 

My summer headaches sting! I don't know if it's because of how long they last, but I've felt the sting a lot this month. 

Also, let me get this off my chest... THOSE OF US WITH CHRONIC PAIN ARE NOT LAZY. WE ARE DEALING WITH A LOT OF PAIN. Thank you. 

My Mental Blanks Have a Name!

Ever since I can remember, I've had to deal with Mind Blanks, wherein my brain will suddenly erase what I'm thinking or trying to process at the moment, leaving behind a sense of loss, and an inability to focus. 

Growing up, I always thought they were "normal" for me after all the surgeries I've had. A friend of mine cleared this up for me though, and helped me put a name to what happens to me. Absence Seizures. 

Yes, seizures! 

While they're happening I'll feel THE FOG, which completely takes over my brain and doesn't let me think clearly, which leads to slower movements, slow reaction times, etc. I will also stare into space from time to time. 

In my case, they can be mild, as in "Oops, I forgot something" (these last only seconds) or the whammy (which can leave me feeling out of place for the whole day), where I'll feel like a veil has been placed on my mind, blocking out all thought, and make it impossible to focus.  

Why I Love Booktube...

First off, what is Booktube?

It is a section of Youtube that caters to readers and writers alike, because some actually crossover. It is good for firsthand book recommendations, and meeting people with opinions that are the same or differ from yours when it comes to the books you're reading, thereby sparking discussions. 

It is fun and stress-reducing, unless you're anxious about adding more books to your reading pile. (Never!) 

I love it because the bulk of my library has been filled because of it, and where one book sparked my love for reading, booktube has given me more material to add to it. 

My favorite channels are: 
-polandbananasbooks  
-emmabooks
-tashapolis
-a clockwork reader
-haileinbookland
-abookutopia
-little book owl
(just to name a few) 

Feeling "Loopy" aka Lightheaded/ Writing Update

Have you ever felt as if you were floating? Or maybe like you were trying to walk in a huge tank of gelatin? That is more or less how I feel some days. I also feel like someone pressed a fast-forward button and everything around me is rushing by. I can't concentrate while this is happening. Sometimes it goes away fairly quickly, while other times, it will last for hours and drive me nuts...

I've spoken to other people with Hydrocephalus, and they have said that it may be seizure activity, which blew my mind because I had never considered that. 

It's pretty unpredictable. I never know when it will hit, and it ranges from mild to severe. The worse times make me lose the ability to concentrate for hours. (needless to say that writing is impossible when those get to me)

By the way, my story is currently at 142 pages, with a 37,434 word count which I am very happy with. 

The Bane of My Existence...

Okay, so the title is dramatic, but I feel so blech...

Headaches, check

Lethargy, check

Summertime kills me.... This heat messes me up so much, and I hate it.

I'm still trying to write though, but it's been a slow process, because I will pass out during the day. The good news? I found is that I found a writing sprint on  Instagram. The bad? What I wrote down makes no sense, so I have to start over once I get home. Oh, well...

The Blessing by Lizzie Lee Book Blurb + Links

The Blessing is live on amazon!!!!
US: https://tinyurl.com/The-Blessing-US
UK:https://tinyurl.com/The-Blessing-UK
BLURB:
After years of drifting, Trevor Warren's world comes crashing down with the news of his brother's death. Returning to his hometown in Evergreen, Colorado for his brother and sister-in-law's funerals, Trevor realizes he has but a moment to grieve before his nephew, Greyson, is thrust into his life. Becoming the legal guardian to Greyson will either be a blessing or a curse. His late brother, Dean, was the golden child--the perfect son, husband, and father--while Trevor was his polar opposite. Despite his rough past, Trevor pulls his life together to become the father Greyson deserves. Although he tries to be a better man, he never feels like he's good enough... especially for his neighbor, Veronica Clark.

Veronica "Ronnie" Clark is the picture of maturity and success. Despite having her life together, she's always felt as if something were missing. From the moment she saw Trevor, she knew he was trouble wrapped in a sinfully attractive package. While she would usually shy away from men like Trevor--something about his rugged appearance captivated her. His handsome face, gorgeous ink, and wounded aura may have caught her attention, but it's his giving heart that kept her yearning for more.

https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftinyurl.com%2FThe-Blessing-US&h=ATNXOIefXEUZcLCJx0FwXjv9X6uiWAnkNm1OtFgNwHoVAq32NPRQlcHeFwcTHn46AGhVIEcIvemVuCY7c-FsbxZ7rSb61AXK3_9V0gN8j5UVijof&s=1

***A story for lovers of contemporary tear jerkers***

Summer is Around the Corner...

And my head is sounding the alarm. 

These past few days have been filled with increasing pain, that had slowly been sucking at my energy, and making me zone out. If you've seen the GIF of the kitten that falls asleep veeery slowly, you have an idea of how it happens. The only positive is that I found my gel mask and I'll be able to wear it if the heat gets too intense. 

I've been trying to write, and have gotten some done, but not as much as I would want to. And that is frustrating. I'm still at 137 pages.