Seizures. Not always what you think.

 I think everyone has had an encounter with an active seizure at least once in their life, and if they haven't, they should at least be prepared to know how to handle it. Whether it's by calling for immediate help, and/ or dispersing crowds. Not all seizures are visible though, which makes things a bit more complicated. Some, can be as quiet as the person looking like they're daydreaming, staring without actually focusing on anything, while on the inside, the person can be dealing with so much. Mine feel as if my mind goes completely blank, muscles so stiff it's as if I'm trying to walk through gelatin. When that ends, the next part is the whopper of a headache that crashes into you. A pain that lasts for hours. Sadly, there's not much that a bystander can do, except guide the person to safety, administer meds, and stay by their side until they feel like they can resume their day. 

Living with Hydrocephalus

 This condition is... complicated. We can go through what most people would consider torture, but a lot of us show no outward signs, so you wouldn't even know it. Headaches, dizziness, nausea and a whole slew of our symptoms aren't visible. When we speak up about our symptoms, it can feel like we're complaining, but then if we don't say anything, we run the risk of those symptoms escalating and having to go to the hospital.  Every patient is different. Some can have high pain tolerance, while others don't. Some can experience an increase of pain from the heat, while others suffer in the cold, etc. Our energy levels are a daily surprise. One day we might have, and the next, we might experience low levels for a week. You just never know. 

Bad, Bad Headaches

 A couple of days ago, I was hit by a Mack truck of a headache, which stung as if my brain had gotten sunburned. This pain lasted for hours, and I was reminded of the only other time I'd felt that bad. It was after one of my last surgeries, which was a big, complicated procedure, complete with massive pains. Exhaustion has been the norm for a few days, but I'm feeling a little bit better, and hope that will keep being the case in days ahead. 

New Book Idea. (No Spoilers)

  So, this is a new thing I've been working on. And another villain wanted a voice, so I had to give it to them. They're pretty persistent. Who was the first character to speak to me this time? I can't remember. I just remember the question that enclosed the entire plot without actually giving it to me. 

Hydrocephalus and Memory

 One of the many consequences of Hydrocephalus is memory loss. This is because most of the operations the condition requires is brain surgery. 

The loss can be gradual, you forget details and small bits of things, but it can algo develop into full blown forgetfulness, where you feel like you lose whole parts of your day in the blink of an eye. This can leave you feeling helpless and useless, but you have to keep going. 

Use planners, set up alarms, take pictures of where you put things so that it's less likely that you'll lose track of them. I know it's an annoying and frustrating pain in the butt. Do anything you can to help yourself.

Why is pain so difficult to quantify/categorize?

Pain is something that should be measured individually. 

While there are pain scales that help explain the varying degrees of what a person can feel, you also need to consider that person's tolerance for said pain. 

Maybe you're talking with someone that has been dealing with this pain for most of our life, and because of that, we can become used to it. But that in no way means that we don't feel it. 

When you ask us how strong the pain is, we can answer with low numbers, because we are just that accustomed to feeling that way, but if you'd ask someone that wasn't used to that kind of stress, they'd react completely differently. 

Should I....? Or should I not...?

 So, before I decided to plunge into writing, I studied culinary arts, and have yet to put that to use. I've been thinking about writing out the ideas in my notebook, and make them actual recipes. Would that be a good idea? I don't want those recipes to go to waste, and I still come up with stuff from time to time.