Writing on Paper vs Writing on a Doc

I have two versions of my story, one on Word in my computer, and another hand written on paper. The one on paper holds all of the "word vom", where I will have all of my non-nonsensical phrases, and inconsistencies, and the Word doc is the more edited and polished version. Due to my mindblanks, I spend a lot of time editing. 

Sometimes I'll get lucky and an idea will progress. If not, I have to sit myself down and just do it. (insert Shia Lebouf meme here) The paper is also handy during the week, when I'm away from my computer, and it suffers a lot of erasing. Sometimes it will even break on me. lol. 

But it's amazing to see the amount of physical pages I've written instead of numbers on a screen. Way more satisfying and amazing to me. All that messes that up is knowing that the paper version holds a lot of mistakes. 

Another Day, and Hydrocephalus Runs Amok

Summer approaches, heat is increasing, and my Hydro seems to be acting up... 
I have 0 to no energy, and am in constant pain, as well as having the mental blanks... This thing doesn't attack lightly. And I still get comments like, "You have to stop being lazy." 

When I was little, I never wanted anyone to go through this, but as I grow older, I kind of wish they did, just so that they could see the issues this causes. Strictly for educational purposes, of course. Does that make me a bad person?

Issues with Pain, Reading, and Writing Updates

So recently I've been dealing with an increase in pain because the cold temp is slowly making way for hotter temperature. Which means that I will avoid going outside as much as I can, and need to find ways to keep cool. These temps also mean that the liquid in my brain (CSF) leave my body quicker, so I have to hydrate more than normal, which I'm not too happy with. I'm also a lot more sluggish during these months because the heat drains my energy, leaving me lethargic. 

Reading and writing help me keep my mind off these things. I just finished a book this week, Obsidian by Jennifer Armentrout, which is a re-read, and now I need to read the second book. 

As for my writing... I now have 130+ pages on Word, which I'm very happy about! I can't wait to see where the story goes from this point. I will definitely try to make an outline for my next story though. Lol

Sensitivity to Temperature

Since I'm currently dealing with one, I thought I'd talk about how headaches can result from different degrees of Temperature. Living in a hot climate has led me to get many headaches, and while I do, and consume things to help me deal with this, sometimes those things work against me. 

I will go to Walgreens and get a slushy to beat the heat, but recently, if I consume them too quickly (which happens when you feel like you're melting), I will get THE WORST brainfreeze.... And since my shunt leads to my heart, (That one is called a VA, which is short for Ventriculo-atrial), I can feel the cold slide down my catheter, and reach my chest area. Add brainfreeze to the mix, and it is a whopper.

Why do I do this to myself??

Well, it's one of the few ways I can actually lower my body temperature, and that helps with the headaches.

Shunt Malfunctions...

Since I'm on guard at the moment, I think it's a good time to talk about what it's like when a shunt stops working. In my case, I'll start getting headaches, but these differ from my every day headaches, because they're persistent. Then come the wandering eyes. I'll feel one or both eyes not focusing at first, and then someone will look at me, and tell me that my eyes look crooked.         That's usually followed by other malfunctioning symptoms, nausea, vomiting, loss of balance, etc.
 

In The Fog

For two weeks now (I think), I've been dealing with the oh, so loved mind fog... My mind feels so cloudy, I can't focus at all, and I'll find myself staring off into space for kicks. Not fun when you're trying to focus on the smallest tasks, and simply can't. Trying to write is so tough too, when you feel like your head is floating in water. 

I'll wake up in the morning, and feel the fog immediately. Lightheadedness is the first thing I feel, like my head is weightless, and then my eyes feel unfocused. A mess...

I spoke with a friend that also has Hydrocephalus, and he told me the fog might be the cause of seizures, which is kind of weird and scary to think about. I'm guessing the seizures are the result of so many operations.

Hopefully this fog will go away soon.

Blackouts... and Trauma?

So... it's been a couple of months after Hurricane Maria hit the island. Though there have been some advances in recovery, they haven't been that noticeable. The most obvious of these examples being the fragile power grid.

Now, I'm not saying this to sound spoiled, but every time there's a flux in power, I revert to the days of the  storm, and become a bit anxious. I think I may have been traumatized by the storm and its aftermath, and didn't even realize it until much later.