What Is Your Darn Book About? Lol

The thought of this post came randomly (as do all), it I thought it might help me in the long run too. I read a writing prompt a WHILE back that said something like "a book character that falls in love with the reader" (That isn't exactly what it says, but bear with me), and it got me thinking that I had never read a story like that. Suddenly, I began getting ideas for the why's, the how's, and the what's. It's been a ride of emotions because I've gone from thinking I could do this, to feeling over my head, and back again. I refuse to give up. Not just for my story, but for myself as well. I know I want to be an author, not just a writer, but we must all take baby steps.

This is the preface: 


I was nothing, just empty words on paper, until her voice gave me life, excitement, and so much more. 
She began simply reading my story, adding new words in her soft, lilting voice. But then something happened that neither one of us expected. We fell in love.
But I was wrong.

Headaches

Pain is a common thing with Hydrocephalus,  and it usually manifests in the form of headaches that can be either light or severe. 

I get headaches EVERY day, which range from barely noticeable, to "punch your face in". I have no idea what causes the variation when I'm not having hospital worthy symptoms. 

The light ones are annoying, but I can handle. The strong ones knock me out (or I wish they did, so that I couldn't feel them as much). It's a stay in bed with the windows shut kind of day when they strike, and they leave a lovely parting gift of "phantom pains" too. That's the sensation the headaches leave behind: my forehead feels tight, sometimes I'll feel busts of baby pains, but those are barely noticeable. 

Hydrocephalus. Never a dull moment... 

Writing Weirdness?

So I was finally able to pinpoint my writing process, and it is a bit funny/confusing/long, but it works for me. I start out with a notebook, I always try to keep a notebook handy, because (even though I deal with those dreaded mindblanks), words pop into my head. It's weird, I tell you. After the "word vomit" (please excuse the comparison, but it's accurate) I erase and write it all down again, but in nicer handwriting, and sift though it as best I can. Then I pass it onto my computer, where I do one final edit.
I can't be the only person that does this... Lol. 
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Hurricane Season

As most of you have heard, Puerto Rico has been hit by two storms, and suffered greatly. (The last of which was the worst. Resulting in a month without light or water for some). This has left a lot of people homeless, and forced them to leave the island in hopes of rebuilding their lives. I only lost material things (my grandmother's porch came out of its socket, and my computer is on the fritz. I've been writing my story in a notebook.) Can I win a Twitter contest for one pls??? Just kidding. (please)  I've seen a lot of people downplay the situation, and that's okay if you're trying to move on from it, but I've also seen people attack those that have suffered, and that is just not right. How many disasters do we have to face before we empathize with others? Can't we support one another without having gone through similar situations? Can't we forget ourselves just a little, and think about those in need? 

I'm sincerely thankful to all of those who have come to our aid. You have no idea what it means. 

These Days...

Updates after Irma: She left a lot of deforestation, but we began to rebuild shortly after she left. 

These days have been BUSY for me. Taking care of my grandmother has left little time to write (I've managed to write 1 to 3 sentences in one sitting), and the heat is NOT helping me at all. I'm getting light loopy (lightheaded) and just dropping to sleep randomly. It is not a good time for me. But I will keep writting. I do not intend to give up. 

It would just be nice to get a break from the temperature, as headaches and dizziness have run rampant in my head.

I'm almost done reading A Court of Mist and Fury, and I love Rhysand so much!! I can't handle it... Feyre is kicking butt, which is awesome. 

Irma in PR

So after a few years of no storms or hurricanes, Puerto Rico is being "slightly" affected by Irma. I'm feeling a little anxious, but I know we'll be okay.  I urge other places in her path not to put off preparations. Do it as swiftly as possible, because you don't know what might happen. God bless + take care.
 Be safe.

The Sun + Summertime Hate Me (rant-ish)

So it is that time of the year again, school is out, (now technically back on, sorry kids), and the sun is running amok... With my head. The heat and sunlight get stronger and so do my headaches. While they're by no means migraines, they are especially persistant now, and will not budge. During this time of year I wish I had a tap of cold running water over my head 24/7, or a walk in cooler that I could live in for a bit. 

This makes me fussy (which I don't like)
It drains me of my energy, which means I'm almost always in bed (most likely knocked out because of it)

Needless to say I miss wintertime.

Appointment With My Neurosurgeon

I finally got to go to my neurosurgeon (whom I also consider my neurologist). I've been going to him since I was thirteen, and he knows every symptom, ache and setback I've had due to my Hydrocephalus. He prescribed a routine CT Scan, (I prefer those to MRI's because the noise scares me. lol) and a follow up appointment in September.

A COURT OF THORNS AND ROSES REVIEW

I know I'm super late to this party, but better late the never. A tale from my childhood with a faery cast and lore. I found myself gravitating to these characters more than I did to their counterparts. 

The female lead is kickass and vulnarable, the lead male is dreamy, but a bit shady in my opinion. I can't wait to see what happens in books 2 + 3.
 

More Writing!

So... As of now I have 17 chapters with a whopping 102 pages! I've got chapters from my protagonist, from my villain, and now the love interest. I might go back to the villain's perspective depending on where the story goes. My villain is twisted. Really. But she's interesting to write. I can't wait to see what happens next!

Lord of Shadows Reaction (just thoughts, no spoilers)

So... I finished reading Lord of Shadows a few days ago. I wasn't able to post my thoughts on it because it left me a mess of tears and ensuing numbness, and I just could NOT process it. Cassandra Clare indeed loves to:

1- Inflict horrible pain upon her characters.

2- Watch us suffer horrific amounts of pain.

3- Toy with our emotions.

I was crying for a while as I was finishing it, and it was not pretty. (If you read it, you know why). My advice to those that haven't read this book, are in the middle of said book is to prepare yourselves for the inevitable pain.

What I Mean When I Say That My Mind Goes Blank

Hydrocephalus and the ensuing surgeries for it, have left my brain lacking somewhat. The most obvious consequences of those surgeries are the "mindblanks", where I'll be thinking of something (sometimes important) and it will literally disappear from my brain, like deleting a file from a computer (at times in the blink of an eye). Sometimes I'll get it back, but most times I won't. Focusing does not help and will most likely end up with me getting a headache. 

The blanks can happen when I go to sleep (think 50 First Dates. I relate to "Lucy" A LOT or our favorite forgetful fish, Dory from Finding Nemo). But they can also creep up randomly throughout the day. You never really know when your mind will just go "poof".

IMPORTANT NOTE: Please, please, please... if you ever come across someone with this condition and the ensuing memory issues, don't tell them it's "all made up" or "you remember what you want to" because it really gets to people. We punish ourselves enough, feeling like we're defective as well as sometimes question our sanity to have other people adding to that opinion (either consciously or not).

I Bought Lord Of Shadows!

The book is here and I bought it and... Yay! I can't wait to read it and tie the ends of Lady Midnight with the continuation. I need to see what happens with Julian and Emma, as well as the other Blackthorns. If I wasn't so tired I'd start reading it now, but I can't... 

 

Writing Update... Reading Update... Random TV Show Obsession? Whaaaa

So I haven't been in much of a writing mood lately, which means that my brain has been going blank a lot lately and that sucks. (Mind-blanks have run amok in my head). In addition to the headaches, naturally. I'm still on chapter 16, and thankfully it is written from my hero's POV because I missed his voice, if that makes sense. 

On the reading front, I've started Heartless by Marissa Meyer. And while I really like it, my one complaint so far is that I'm empathizing too much with the main character, and it's messing with my mind! (SPOILER?) I love the fact that she's a baker, and correct me if I'm wrong, but the treats mentioned in the book would make for a killer menu. 

As for TV, I've watched quite a bit of stuff lately. Thirteen Reasons Why (gutted me). Pll is ending?! WTH?! I must know the answers!! Holy Geek and G_xoxo on Youtube are my jam for theories.

What a Week...

Needless to say, I am exhausted after these past few days I've had. At least I got some reading done. I'm LOVING The Other One by Jiffy Kate, and Shearwater by Derek Murphy.

The first is a Contemporary that I KNOW will make me cry, and the second is YA Paranormal.  

I just got home today and... Surprise! My Hydrocephalus decided to act up by wiping my mind clean. So there's that.

So... Reading?

I loove to read. It's a way to help me escape and concentrate on something other than my Hydro and the resulting headaches.  It also helps me focus a little better if that makes sense.

If the book is in any way feels inducing,            I WILL cry. If I gravitate toward a character and something happens to them (good or bad) I WILL cry.  

What am I reading right now? I'm currently reading The Other One by Jiffy Kate. (Jiffy Kate is a writing duo, that loves to shake up your emotions).  The male lead is sexy. And yes, it hits you in the feels. 

*Let me know if you'd like a review

Temperature and Hydro

Temperature plays a big part in how I feel during the day.    I hate the heat because it gives me headaches constantly, and am always happy to encounter somewhat cold days. As cold as they can get here, anyway. 

On hot days, my headaches like to run 24/7. It is exhausting. They mostly knock me out, and I'll sleep for a bit, but more often than not, I'll wake up with another headache. It's so fun... (note the sarcasm. lol)

Cold days are a relief because the headaches take a break, but because of where I live, cold days are few and far between. So I enjoy them while they last.

Each case of Hydrocephalus is different. I've talked to others that say that heat is their preferred temperature, and that cold is their headache instigator. So it's an individual thing. 

Needless to say, my favorite time of year is winter, when it's cooler. (Because I live in Puerto Rico, and sadly, it does not snow here...)

Wanting to Write but Your Brain Just Won't Have It

Once again, Hydro has run amok in my head... I want to write so much, but every time I open the doc, my mind goes blank. It's so annoying! But I have to deal with it. At least my story is coming along, and I'm hopeful that I'll finish it. I'm still at 16 chapters though, but I'll get there.

I dream of the day when I'll see it on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. (reach for the stars, Gabby)

Writer's Block and Brain Fog

I hate writer's block so much because it seems like it's 10 times worse for me. My mind will go completely blank. Add that to the fog that permeates my thought process and you have a writer's worst nightmare. The fog is a result of my Hydrocephalus, and to my understanding, can't be prevented. Imagine you're in a blank space, surrounded by thick gelatin. Your movements become slow. You can't focus your thoughts. It's horrible.

So... What's a writer to do? 

Notes. Many, many notes. And hope that the ideas that do make it onto your page make sense. 

I also have a couple of friends that I let read my story and ask them constantly if the plot makes sense. 

So far my story is on track, but the doubts still like to creep into my head. 

16 Chapters!

My story now has 16 chapters! Granted the chapters aren't very long... but still. 16! Are you kidding me? 

Most chapters are from my male protagonist's POV, but I was able to write one from the point of view of my villain. It was interesting to write, to say the least. I got to let go of a lot of aggression with that one.  

Writing is therapy. lol

Memory Issues...

So... today has been a Spacey day. And no, not Kevin Spacey. That's just what I call it when my brain chooses to be unfocused and lightheaded. Yet another annoying side effect of Hydrocephalus and my many operations.

Sometimes I'll wake up and forget what time it is. Once I fell asleep and woke up, got ready and actually waited for my ride to Uni, but it late in the evening. And I had no classes. 

I was so freaked out because I didn't see people in my street like I normally did.

My mom had to explain what was happening, and that was when I snapped out of it. It was so bad... 

Hydrocephalus and Pain

So it is another day, and it obviously wouldn't be "Normal" without pain. As weird as it sounds, I see days that I don't wake up with a headache as rare because I almost always have it. And today is one of those headache days.

Hydrocephalus is dubbed an "invisible illness" because you can't see it, though it does show external signs of shunt malfunction. (see previous hydro post for symptoms). 

But apart from those signs, you wouldn't be able to tell that most of us have it. On one side, that's a good thing, because believe me when I say that a critical stage is not fun at all... But on the other side, we don't get the chance to get people to talk as much about it because we seem so "normal".

Another Day...

Another headache... Such is the life of someone with Hydrocephalus. 

Waking up can be a real pain sometimes, especially when you forget to protect your eyes and receive that burst of sunlight first thing in the morning. It makes your head and your eyes hurt too. It's so annoying... 

Now I have to stick with my sunglasses all day, even while indoors. Oh, well...

Have a good day everyone.

My First Writing Contest!

I just entered my first writing contest, and I can't believe how exited I am. And nervous. But mostly excited! I know I'm already a writer because I'm writing, but it's different when your work is viewed by people in the industry, you know what I mean? The input they'd provide is really important to me, because I want to be a good writer. I want to succeed in this.

I'm Writing A Book!!

Well, so far it's just a story, but I hope to publish someday when it's finished. I have 15 chapters so far, and they are so good!

I'm proud of everything I've written so far.

As you can imagine, writing is kind of tough for me sometimes (because of my memory issues), but I power through it,  and get decent chapters written. The trick for me is to go back and read the last chapter I wrote.

Sometimes it's frustrating, but I just think of the day when I'll finish my story and publish it.

Hydrocephalus

You may be asking yourself what the heck that title means. Well, let me quote the Hydrocephalus Association for the general description.

"Hydrocephalus is an abnormal accumulation of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) within cavities in the brain called ventricles. Cerebrospinal fluid is produced in the ventricles and in the choroid plexus. It circulates through the ventricular system in the brain and is absorbed into the bloodstream. This fluid is in constant circulation and has many functions, including to surround the brain and spinal cord and act as a protective cushion against injury. It contains nutrients and proteins necessary for the nourishment and normal function of the brain, and carries waste products away from surrounding tissues."

So basically, when this fluid can't be absorbed properly it produces this condition. So far the only "treatment" is via a shunt apparatus, which is basically a pump attached to a tube by which the liquid can travel from the head to any area of the body to be absorbed. (The most common areas for absorption are the stomach or the heart.)

For more information, please visit http://www.hydroassoc.org/

On good days, you feel no headaches, and can go about your day. 

On not so good days, you're constantly dealing with headaches. 

And on bad days you have to haul it to the hospital to get checked out, and possibly even deal with surgery.  And yes, I mean brain surgery.  

As you can imagine, an operation like this has it's effects. In my case, I suffer from loss of focus and short term memory problems, which means I have to write EVERYTHING down. I kid you not. 

If you ever meet someone with Hydro, ask them about it. I'm sure they'll be happy to share their story. 

Introduction

Hi, my name is Gabriela. Welcome to my blog, where you'll find discussions about varied topics.       

I am a writer, working on my first story at the moment. I also love music.